"Let me be!" The strained cry echoed throughout the darkened apartment, heavy and depressing. "That-" the word whispered across bared skin, making him shiver. "That is something I don't want to do." Lips pressed to throat, searching. Hot, cold - feather light then pressing, demanding. Everything and nothing - a dream existing in a nightmare. He was being taken and nothing was being given in return - yet there was no denying the pure pleasure in the act. He could not tell where it was born. His pleasure, Chade's pleasure? It mattered not for it was flowing through him - consuming him, burning him, reducing all that he was and all that he stood for to ash. "Please!" The cry was breathless; choked by the effort to keep his breathing even; tears unshed - desperately trying to hide himself. Hide *from* himself. "'Please' what?" Crimson hair spilled over his shoulder, Chade's fingers playing at the fastened buttons of his shirt, one hand alternately opening and closing them, while the other brushed gently over his collarbone. "Do you want me to stop -" suddenly the arms supporting him were gone, the room deathly silent. It felt as if some part of him - some vital part to his existence - had been ripped away leaving him unable to stand alone. His knees buckled, and with a small cry he began to fall, only to be caught in that steal embrace yet again. "Or do you want me to stay?" One hand dropped, sliding along the waist of his pants, toying with the belt buckle before unfastening it, and discarding the belt. Nimble fingers caught the edge of his shirt and slowly pulled it out then settled, drawing patterns against the exposed skin. Down over his hip, a slow figure eight being burned into his flesh. Caught between desire and fear - needing the touch but wanting something different - hungering for something more, he could only whimper in reply.